If cow patty plops had referees – and what a job that would be – then the one held Friday night in G.M. Tennant Stadium might have garnered a flag.
The violation? Premature pooping.
The plan for Friday’s Moolah Madness fundraiser sponsored by the Wolverine 12th Man club seemed simple – mark off W.J. Miller Field in 50 squares, sell those squares for $25 each, lead a cow to midfield, turn her loose and wait for the first bathroom stop, the owner of the square containing the results of that stop to win $250.
No one apparently told Belle, the star of Friday’s show charged with making said deposit, about the plan. Perhaps the excitement of stepping onto the field where so many great Wolverines have tread proved too much for the bovine, who took her first bathroom break well before reaching the 50-yard line.
Uncertain of the proper policy in such situations, 12th Man leadership and head football coach Bruce Ollis decided to give Belle one more opportunity for patty glory. Alas, despite a steady stream of feed from PCHS agricultural teacher Chauncey Barber, Belle left nothing more than hoofprints on Miller Field the rest of the evening.
Thus her first and only effort proved the deciding factor, with Kevin Seay winning the $250 prize.
Belle’s bowels were not the only source of entertainment for the evening. Ollis introduced more than three dozen members of Polk County’s 2018 football team, and the new crop of Wolverine cheerleaders were present as well.
There were games, food, items for sale and the 12th Man signed up a few new members for its football booster club.
“For the first time, things went pretty well,” Ollis said.
Seay certainly thought so.
So too did Belle, who left Tennant Stadium with a full belly.